Some people complain that relationships & love should come easy. But truth is, every relationship needs some kind of work, some more than others!
All healthy relationships are built on mutual trust, communication, forgiveness, understanding, faith, respect & love. Without these things a healthy relationship cannot thrive. And without both people working to help the relationship, someone is destined to be unhappy.
If you find that your marriage is “rocky” or non-existent, try to figure out where it went wrong & what is lacking. Where does the unhappiness come from? Is your spouse a top priority? What is your spouse not giving you that you so desperately long for? What do you do (if anything) for your spouse to make them feel they are your priority, that they feel loved & appreciated? What sins or hurts have you not healed & forgiven within yourself, and with your spouse? Sit down with your spouse & have a “heart-to-heart” and communicate to each other: your feelings & what you truly want from the other person, and openly LISTEN to what your spouse has to say without passing judgment or getting defensive. Marriage is an equal partnership..there are TWO people that make up a marriage & it takes BOTH people to make a marriage work!
When problems arise, it usually means there is something that both people are not doing at all or are doing with very little effort (sometimes one more than the other), to fulfill their spouse’s needs and wants.
Pray about your marriage often! Ask God to mend your marriage & help heal the love & hurts. Recommend to your spouse, talking to a Christian counselor or couple who can give unbiased advice to a solution. A marriage group or Bible study can also be very helpful. But don’t give up, try to fix what is broken!
Struggling with your relationships with your children? Are you being a parent first? Are you a fair, consistent, and understanding disciplinary? Do you “nag” too much? Do you encourage & listen enough? Are you making your children a top priority? Are you too “hard” or “easy” on them? Are you & your spouse “parenting together”? Are you being a good role model? Are you “leading” them?
Children want parents who are involved in all aspects of their lives, so be involved and ask fair questions. Be understanding & open minded when your children answer those questions, no matter how hard the answer is to hear. Keep the means of communication open with your children..let them know you are there for them, without judgment, when they are struggling with the tough choices.
Learn to be honest with your children & respect them when they are honest with you. Trust them enough to make the “right” hard decisions, and be there when the make the wrong ones.
A prayer I often say: Dear Lord, protect my children & lead them in the right direction, but if they fail to do what is right, please help them learn their lesson…Amen!
Children also want parents who they feel love them, even when they are being difficult. They want to feel that they are forgiven for their mistakes and that your love is unconditional. Lead your children with a strong hand and a soft heart.
Love when it is easy, but love harder when it’s hard!! ~Blessed Mama
When trying to remedy problems that arise in a relationship, make sure to communicate with each other with gentleness. And LISTEN with true understanding to what the other has to say, without getting defensive or being sarcastic! After all, someone’s feelings are just that..feelings! They can’t change how or what they are feeling, that comes from the heart! So, listen closely to what their feelings are & why they feel the way that they feel, without judgment.
Forgiveness..God wants you to forgive, so forgiveness is a must, but allowing others to continue with their hurtful behaviors is a choice! You can choose to forgive without forgetting the lessons that you were taught. You can also choose to forgive and walk away if the relationship is “toxic.” But FIRST be sure that you have made ample attempts to remedy the relationship so you are at peace & it is “well with your soul.”
And last, but certainly not least, PRAY….pray for your spouse, your children & all of your relationships! God listens and hears you and knows what is BEST for you!
❤ Blessed Mama ❤