Expectations….hhhmmm.
The older I get the more I realize that disappointment is such a big part of life, at least for most people! Disappointments start at a young age when maybe you fought with a friend, didn’t get a gift you wanted, your parents broke a promise, or maybe a new favorite toy broke. These might seem like small, unimportant disappointments to an adult, but to a child, they are BIG!
As we grow up, our disappointments seem to be more abundant and tend to be more severe. Maybe you didn’t get the job or house you wanted, maybe your marriage is struggling or failing, maybe you feel like you’re failing as a parent, or maybe you have medical issues that you have to face head-on? And sometimes you realize that the list of people and situations that have disappointed you, gets even bigger!
Since disappointment has “reared it’s ugly head” many times throughout your life, it becomes something that you, in a sense, maybe not completely get used to, but that you learn that they happen…you become a little more accepting of them, knowing that they happen, sometimes more often that not!
I truly feel that disappointments come from “our expectations” of how things or people should be! We expect that our hard work will pay off, we expect that others should treat us as we treat them, we expect that family should be loving unconditionally and be people we can always count on, that friends should be loyal, trustworthy, and reliable, and so on.
The sad reality is that expectations of others come from “our perception” of ourselves, sometimes unbeknownst to us. If we are loyal and kindhearted, we perceive and expect others to be that way as well. And visa versa, if we are dishonest or selfish, we perceive and expect others to be that way also, sometimes accusing others for things that they would never do or say because we truly are that way!
When you expect situations and others to fit your perception, this leads to disappointment after disappointment!
You cannot expect all people to be kind, forgiving, thoughtful, or appreciative, for some people are not capable of these things to the extent that you may be. This is not a fault of yours, but of theirs….it says more about them than it does you. How people act, or don’t act, or how people treat or don’t treat you does not define who you are, or if you are worthy of unworthy of the good or bad situations or people that surround you!
The more that disappointment knocks you down, you more you tend to become untrusting, or leary of people who “seem” to be true and who fit your perception.
It becomes increasingly harder to tolerate your heart’s brokenness from the disappointments & hurt it has endured. This can lead to bitterness, unhappiness, self doubt, lack of faith, etc.
Remember to “teach people how to treat you!” And always trust your own judgment, and your guard heart!
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
{Proverbs 4:23}
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
{Proverbs 4:23}
As we grow older and wiser, we tend to try to protect our heart, and distance ourselves from people who don’t value us as we feel we deserve. This is not about expectations as much as it is about respecting and loving ourselves enough to walk away from people that continue to disappoint us! Maybe this includes people who do not include you or make you a priority in their lives, the people who bring constant turmoil or unhappiness into your life, or the people that seem to be “all about themselves,” and don’t respect you or are careless with your emotions and needs.
I know that the more you care about & love someone, the more heart-breaking it is when they disappoint you, but the more you want to believe that will not hurt or disappoint you, the more chances you will give them, and the more you will forgive them.
Don’t look at disappointments as failures, but more of stepping stones of hard lessons learned. How you respond to your disappointments could change your life. Be sure to have realistic expectations of the situations and people around you! Don’t ever allow disappointments to break you down! Always keep the faith, forgive, and move forward, but don’t forget what they taught you!
Blessings & love,
Blessed Mama ♡
